


Blue Fissure

by Moonstation127



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Break Up, Feels, Kissing, M/M, One Shot, Party, Songfic, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-29 15:44:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20799077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonstation127/pseuds/Moonstation127
Summary: "Broken, pale wingsyou're just a little tiredof the sky which is too blue"





	Blue Fissure

**Author's Note:**

> This is a songfic based on Alones by Aqua Timez, please DON'T read and listen to the song at the same time... They don't combine. 
> 
> Thanks to Jess and Nat for their wonderful work as betas and their encouraging words!! I love you girls ♡

The bustling music hurts Jeno’s ears and gives him a headache. The air is stale. Despite the discomfort, he wears his best attempt of a smile and he dances slowly, covering his wounds with a facade of laziness. He’s so tired, yet his friends are looking. He has to smile, has to enjoy. 

Different color lights illuminate them. Mark offers him his drink, a mix of alcohol with fruit juice. Jaemin encourages Jeno to drink it all in one sip, his chant being echoed by other voices. Jeno lets out an exaggerated laugh and accepts the challenge. 

The liquid burns in his throat. It takes a moment, but he empties the glass and the group explodes in cheers. Their voices are so far away. They’re just having fun, so happy, so light. Jeno is heavy, like a prisoner shackled to a ball and chain. His stomach contracts. He rushes to the bathroom. 

He makes it to the toilet where he bends over to throw up. It shakes him, it leaves him empty like the glass he just drank from. Someone pats his back, rubs it with soft hands in circles. It’s Mark. Jeno smiles at him, apologetic. The concern in the other boy’s face transforms into relief. He smiles back and takes Jeno to the sink, where he rinses his mouth.

Jeno can bear it, he can put his mask back on. He just needs a minute. Because it’s too much, too strong. The scab is torn. The memories come back. And he’s alone. Mark is there but Jeno is alone. His tears fall to the floor and he covers his face with shaking wet hands. 

Why does it hurt so much? Why does he feel alone? He’s surrounded by friends, yet they can’t reach him. He stretches his hand but they are so far away that they seem blurry. 

Arms wrap around his torso. He had crouched down, his head is buried in the crook of Mark’s neck. He has to get up. His act has to continue but his mask has a fissure. He has to be the old Jeno, the Jeno from before he fell from the sky. But his pale wings are broken. His wounds won’t heal. And the sky is too blue for him now, he can’t go back. 

Mark makes him look up and wipes Jeno’s tears. In an impulse, the boy crushes his lips against the older’s, who freezes. Jeno cups his face and kisses him with a deep urgency, trying to erase the face of someone else from his mind. 

Mark pushes him away by his shoulders, gently but firmly. And Jeno can’t look at his eyes, he just whispers sincere apologies. There’s nothing else he can say. Jeno has a void inside that he doesn’t know how to fill. He’s sinking in a puddle of self-pity, alone. Yesterday won’t come back. He’s drowning in the words he never said, in the courage he never build up. 

When a breeze tousles his hair, he’s outside of the club. Mark helps him to get in his car. He reassures Jeno that everything will be alright. The darkness is fading in the sky. But it’s too bright and Jeno knows he won’t be fine. He doesn’t deserve it. He thanks Mark nevertheless, with the hope that maybe one day they could reach each other again. Even if he’s just a little tired of the sky, which is too blue.

**Author's Note:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/moonstation127/)   
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/NCTzen_Vale/)   
[Song on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1o3BiqN7TPPLlvLC1TnXMX?si=KptJadvmQ4Gbc2KQXMysNw/)   
[Song on YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCF4xwg4Yoo/)


End file.
